On rockstar developers

Every developer on LinkedIn gets inundated with recruiter messages. Often, these recruiters seem to use phrases like "rockstar developer" and "MongoDB" as though they are culturally acceptable.

My response to a recent inquiry:

Hi Madan, 

Thanks for reaching out! 

I am at best a folk singer developer. I could perhaps rise to the level of children's entertainer developer on my best days. 

When the day comes that freebasing cocaine and urinating in public is just one of those everyday tasks that I do in order to face my day job, I shall know that I have arrived as a rockstar developer. 

And on that day, I shall apply to Netsuite. 

Probably by trashing the lobby and vomiting in a nice shrub. Maybe a philodendron. 

Do you have philodendrons in the Kitchener office? 

All the best in your search,
Colin

PS - you can freebase cocaine, right? I'm such a fraud as a rockstar developer.

PPS - I'm only sort of being a jackass. If you respond to recruiter inquiries, they get their InMail credits refunded so they can send more inquiries. The best part: to other people.